For the last few weeks, I have been in pain. My joints ache. My fingers are swollen. The doctor said I was having a RA flare….
It turns out that I was just being a wussy. I now know what a flare feels like… and it sucks.
I did kind of over do it today. I woke up early for the breakfast that kicks off the holiday know as “Josh’s Birthday Month”. I have a friend who celebrates his birthday for forever. We went out for his birthday breakfast this morning at 8am…which is WAYYY too early for me to be awake. I was in some pain, but just dealt with it. I then headed down to the grand opening of my mother’s new store. (YAY girls.. it was great!) I was on my feet for a few hours… but sat down when I needed to. After that, it was time for a birthday party for one of my girl scouts, where I spent most of the time sitting.. but was still feeling pretty sore. After the party ended, I headed to my house for some much needed rest. Then it happened.
While laying down, I had my first actual RA Flare. The pain I have felt in the last week would have been a 6 on the 1-10 scale….until today. Today, I learned my 6 pain was really a 3, followed my slicing off my finger being a 4 and natural childbirth a 5. My flare? I would count that as an 11. I have never felt pain like that in my life. NEVER.
I was laying down.. not moving because I was so sore. My hands were burning…my toes on fire.. my ankles ached. Then it hit. I felt like a whiny little bitch. A bitch with a paper cut to the eyeball. With salt rubbed into it. And acid. While on fire.
My entire body just shook with pain. My ankles locked up. My toes were like stone. Everything was burning and all I could do was cry. I took one of my pain pills and nothing happened. I took another… and yet there I sat…crying. I couldn’t move. I couldn’t walk. I couldn’t put pressure on any part of my body. All i could do as lay there…crying.. hiding under my blanket as not to scare my youngest. My poor husband could only sit there and stare. It was the worst pain I have ever felt in my entire life.. and I was helpless to do anything to stop it.
The pain pills have finally kicked in… so I am able to sit up and type (with some stiffness and aches). My hips aren’t locked anymore and I can put pressure on my feet (which helped because I really had to tinkle), but the pain is still kind of there. I’m sore. I’m exhausted. And I now know what it feels like to have a flare-up. It sucks.